*WHINING IN PROGRESS.
my heart sank when i finished the GP paper. :(
it just felt like i did the worst essay ever since J2.
& i didnt even feel like reading it agn to check through because it was so lousy.
it was that lousy this time round.
it wasnt like previous times where i knew i wldnt do well but it wasnt a super major screw up or wht.
at least i gave some appropriate examples.
this time round i can really feel where i stand amongst the rest of the people in sch.
i felt disappointed in myself.
then i suddenly rmbed MissTay,
and how i feel she's a really nice gp teacher.
sucks when i didnt even rmb to do wht she've always taught us to take note of.
i forgot to do EV (v severely), forgot to keep my sentences short & clear,
PLUS I RLY HAD NO CONCRETE EXAMPLES TO BEGIN WITH.
zilch statistics.
I FORGOT TO USE ALL THE "NICE" EXPRESSIONS LIKE "ADVOCATES".
the whole essay was so simplistic tht i'd feel bored reading it.
......................................
so terrible....
& i wonder if i did NAQ for the qn.
"does the presence of a foreign power ever helps a country with problems?"
to think the night before i was so calm, hving the gut feeling tht media/globalisation/env topics would come out. then i can write a chio essay (compared to my usual ones) for A's to secure a B or wht.
then none of wht i've studied came out at all.
although i think its happening to the majority of the ppl in the sch too.
AND COMPRE JUST KILLED ME.
i feel really stupid when i make this kind of mistakes right in the Alvls.
other than the fact tht i cldnt comprehend the passage,
i actually wrote my answers for qns on the WRONG ans line.
ie. switched ans for 2 qns.
so thts 2 marks gone.
due to sheer blurness.
OPTIMISTIC VIEW:
IF EVERYONE SCREWS GP UP TGT LIKE ME
I'LL STILL HV SOME HOPE.
DAMN. AND ITS ONLY THE 2ND DAY OF THE EXAM. :/
im thankful i didnt have my usual mindblocks for maths today.
phy was a goner & im rly worried abt it too.
its supposedly my better sci & i cant possibly depend on chem for anythg.
I CANT FOCUS TO CONTINUE STUDYING ANYMORE.
BUT I DONT WISH TO DISAPPOINT ANYBODYYY.
HOW COME I FEEL LIKE I CANT GO ON ANYMORE?
anyway, randoms:
i feel rather sad tht i've morphed into someone so influenced and obsessed over grades. i mean yes its alright to care abt studies but i suddenly realise WHILE I WAS DOING THE DAMN A LVL PHY PPR tht i've changed alot these years. like how i always wanted to do thgs tht i'd rly enjoy doing & not because everyone is doing & so i shld follow. now you just feel like you hv to get tht A, or maybe 4As just because everyone else is getting tht. i'd rly feel afraid to be left out by the bulk of students of my age.
"i cannot afford to lag behind."
i think JC has changed me.
& i believe its the same for so many people out there right?
i dont like comparisons.
& i dont like this kind of me.
